Start with talking, not rules
Children are safer when they trust you to listen without punishing. Talk about safety as ordinary life, in short chats, not a lecture about scary things.
Teach the correct names for body parts and that their body belongs to them. Explain that adults should not ask children to keep secrets from parents, and that they can always say no and tell you.
- Agree a family code word that only trusted people know.
- Tell them you will never be angry when they tell you something difficult.
- Practise what to say: 'No', 'Stop', 'I am going to tell my mom'.
At home
Make sure children know your phone numbers and how to call a trusted adult. Teach them not to open the door to people they do not know, and not to tell callers that they are home alone.
Keep medicines, cleaning products, firearms and sharp objects locked away. Check smoke alarms, and plan how everyone gets out in a fire. Pool and water safety deserves special attention for small children, who need an adult watching them at all times.
Getting to and from school
Know how your child gets to school and who collects them. Agree a plan if the usual person is late or cannot come. Tell the school who is allowed to collect your child and ask them to call you before releasing the child to anyone else.
Walk the route with your child if they walk. Point out safe places to go, like a shop, a neighbour or a school office. Encourage walking in groups.
- Use only collection people the school and child both know.
- Check the lift-club driver and vehicle, not just the arrangement.
- Remind children never to get into a car with someone unexpected, even if they say you sent them.
Strangers and trusted adults
Harm to children often comes from people they know, so a rule that only talks about strangers is not enough. Teach children to notice how an adult behaves: someone who asks for secrets, gifts or private time is a concern, whoever they are.
Teach a child to walk away, make noise and go to a safe adult if they feel uneasy. Tell them they will never be in trouble for doing so.
Online safety
Know which apps and games your child uses. Keep devices in shared spaces where you can, and use the privacy and parental controls on phones, games and apps. Make sure children know not to share their full name, school, address or photos with people they do not know.
Tell children that an online friend is still a stranger and that they should come to you if anyone asks them for photos, secrets or to meet in person.
Getting help and reporting
If a child is in immediate danger, call the police on 10111. Anonymous tip-offs about a crime can go to SAPS Crime Stop on 08600 10111. For a child who needs to talk to someone, Childline South Africa runs a free helpline on 116, open 24 hours from all networks.
If you are worried about abuse or neglect, speak to a social worker, the police or a registered child protection organisation. Check the Department of Social Development and the SAPS child safety pages for current contact details rather than trusting a number from a social media post.
Playdates, sleepovers and trips
Playdates, sleepovers, sports trips and holiday clubs are normal parts of growing up, and most are fine. A few questions beforehand help you feel comfortable without being intrusive.
Ask who will be there, who is supervising and how you can reach your child. Meet the adults involved when you can. Let your child know they can phone you at any time, and that you will fetch them, no questions asked, if they feel uncomfortable. After the event, ask open questions such as 'what was the best part?' and 'was there anything you did not like?'. Watch for changes in mood or behaviour, which can be a sign that something is wrong, though they have many possible causes. If you are worried, speak to the school or a professional.
A simple checklist
Review this with your family once a term:
- Child knows your numbers and a second trusted adult's number.
- Family code word agreed.
- School knows who may collect your child.
- Child knows they can say no and tell you anything.
- Devices and apps checked, and controls set.
- Medicines, chemicals and water hazards secured.
Questions people ask
At what age can a child be home alone?
There is no single right age. It depends on the child's maturity and the situation, so ask your school or a social worker if you are unsure.
How do I talk to my child about strangers without scaring them?
Keep it practical and calm: teach what to do, such as walking away and telling a safe adult, rather than what could go wrong.
Who do I call if I think a child is in danger?
If it is urgent, call the police on 10111. Otherwise speak to a social worker or the police. Childline's free helpline, 116, is open 24 hours.
Sources
Mtunzini Group is a family-run, PSiRA-registered guarding company in Cape Town that actively manages its officers with field supervision.